Friday, December 20, 2013

So What

I hate to sound grumpy just before Christmas but this is something that is really fussing me. So, I am getting really irritated by everyone starting a sentence with so.  So, I think this is a new phenomena but I hope it soon runs its course.  I have noticed that professionals such as news anchor's and motivational speakers do it.  It is even more common in written speech. So, I would be happy if everyone became a little more conscious of their speech and written words.  So many thanks.

We are getting another heavy snowfall.  I don't have anywhere to go so I won't.  I've finished my Christmas sewing and baking so (I have become hyper sensitive to that word) I might start a new quilting project.
 Here is a cute Christmas verse to counteract the previous grumpy.  I am sure none of you need these gifts but hope you enjoy reading it anyway.

Merry Christmas To My Female Friends

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

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