Thursday, October 22, 2009

Yeah, Right

Before I start, let me warn you that if you are sensitive about anything that happens below the waist, you might want to skip this blog.
Once in a while, my DH and I watch Dr. Oz. Yesterday, he talked about why women are always lined up at public washrooms. He said it was because we have to urinate more often and gave reasons why-uterus pressing on bladder, excess fat, childbirth. And I am thinking, yeah, right. The reason women are lined up is because we take longer and the person who designed the building doesn't take that into account and provide more facilities.
Scenario One: Man going to toilet. Enters room, lines up at trough, unzip, flip, pee, shake, zip, wash hands, done.
Scenario Two: Woman going to to toilet. Enters room, checks to see if there is vacant cubicle, enters and closes door. Discovers latch doesn't work. Exit and look for another or tries to keep it closed with available body part. Hangs purse and shopping on hook that is, hopefully provided. If no hook, find somewhere where things will be safe. Checks to ensure there is toilet paper. Tells child to stop looking under connecting wall. Lowers pants, underwear, foundation garment and nylons, pees while telling child to stop fidgeting. Pushes door closed with foot. Dries, replaces previously mentioned clothing. Retrieves belongings and child who is about to crawl under door, washes hands and returns to husband that is loudly complaining about how long she took. Returns sympathetic smile of other women who are in line up.

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