Word Humour.

I have recently taken up writing in my journal again.  I haven't added anything for quite a while.  In fact, the last entry was May of 2017 when hubby had his hip replacement.  As that started a series of events resulting me being a nanny for two years, I guess I just didn't have time.  After the hip replacement which followed a carpal tunnel operation,  hubby broke an ankle while having an unhappy meeting of a tree limb and his head.

All those situations meant I had to take care of his chores and the caring of him while still doing my own work.  Although I did it all gladly, it was exhausting.

I thought it time to record some of our current situation as I really feel we are living through a time that will be part of history.  Perhaps sometime in the future, someone might be interested in how an individual dealt with the store closures, isolating, panic buying and all the other things that go with a pandemic.  While I am not experiencing the typical reactions as I love just staying home, the thoughts are still that of a person living through it all.

A friend sent me the following and I thought, like me, you would enjoy a break from covid news..  I love word humour and these had me, literally, laughing out loud,

Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.   

The winners are: 

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.   

 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.  

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.  (love that one)   

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.  

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 

 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.  

8. Gargoyle(n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.   

9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller  

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n.), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.